Dirty Thirty

30 years. 3 decades. 10, 950 days. 262,800 hours. 15, 768,000 minutes.

This is how long I exist in this world.

Shucks, ang tanda ko na! (I’m old!)

Age for me is really just a number, but now that I’ve entered my third decade of existence, why do I feel the pressure of turning a year older?

When you’re in your teens, you feel that life is complicated but there’s no burden of responsibilities, yet.

I remember when I turned 18, I didn’t really feel the coming of age because maybe, I didn’t want to grow up yet. While it was the right of passage to womanhood, I feel like it didn’t made any difference naman when I was 17. Maybe because I’m not the type who couldn’t wait to be “legal” to have fun. In short, lola na ko at 18! Heehee.

When you’re in your 20s life is fun, yet you learn that the struggle is real. It’s when the challenges of the real world happens.

Most in this age are fresh out of college. Some get a master’s degree while others start a job right away. Some pause and take break, others try and pursue their passion. As for me, I chose to start a family. I’ve always been a homebody type and I’ve always loved the idea of raising my own family at young age because I like kids and the thought of being a mother was something I always look forward to.

When you’re in your 30s you’re more certain of things and you’ve somehow gotten to know yourself better than two decades ago.

Most of my friends in their 30s say this. I couldn’t comment though because today is my first day being 30. Haha. I do hope that in this decade, I get to know and understand myself more.

I’m not really big on celebrating anything for myself. But since turning 30 for me is a milestone and probably the last time I can celebrate feeling young and looking young, I decided to do something that can help me remember the transition I made from being 20 to being 30.

I was thinking of getting a tattoo because I felt like I needed to do something that would mark my “coming of age” sabeeeeh?! Mas coming of age pa for me to turn 30 than when I turned 18. Hahahaha. But I have low tolerance for pain kasi so the idea wasn’t something I can do, at least for now. Then the idea to have my photos taken to celebrate this stage of my life came to mind. Lucky for me, I was able to do a photo session a few days ago wherein one of my favorite lifestyle photographers, Louie Arcilla captured me in different light.

At first, I just wanted to do an OOTD series since it’s something we’ve done a few times.  We were discussing and exchanging our ideas for our shoot when we both agree to do a boudoir series. I was afraid of the idea because I don’t think I can pull it off but I trust Louie to pull it off.

So here are some of the photos from our shoot. And since and dami kong naiisip now that I’m 30 – yes, may emphasis talaga na I am no longer in my 20s because I cannot bilibit! (believe it) – I’ll share my random ramblings and realizations dahil nahiya naman ako ng slight na puro photos ko lang makikita nyo. Dapat may slight wisdom din! Char.

Long showers and idle time are still scarce in this age, and so is sleep. Yet, for some reason I always find time to blog.

I have finally learned how to say NO. Yes!

Nobody really cares if you’re 30. Except when someone asks your age and couldn’t believe how old you are. Whaaaat? 30 ka na?! Ang tanda mo na! Shet.

I’m glad I started a family before I reached 30 because I’m enjoying being a mother despite the daily challenges it brings.

My shy & clumsy self if still here, after all these years.

I now appreciate good wine & cheese.

I said a few times that don’t want to be pregnant anymore once I reach 30 but now I miss having a baby. Still, baby no. 3 would be a game changer and I don’t think we’re ready for a change.

I workout because I like to eat & it makes me happy.

Like a makahiya (mimosa pudica) I shrink when I am the centre of attention. *shrinks as I realize this post is all about me!*

My biggest insecurity is my eyes.

I am officially a Tita.

I’m halfway through becoming a senior citizen.

I find comfort in watching cartoons and eating chocolates.

Have money, will travel.

This is my most young, wild & free moment. Hahaha.

9 o’clock in the evening is “late” for me. Titang-tita lang!

I can never pull off the sexy & sultry look. Ito na yon guys. Todo na to.

I surrender all my weakness to the Almighty One.

Team black and white forever.

I no longer feel any burden to make a good impression. Kebs na.

All I want for my birthday is abs. Joke lang (medyo half-hearted), good health forever!

I get lost in books, music and sometimes movies.

The sun, sand and sea are my remedy.

 My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills. Haha!

What defines a person? More than the decision she makes, I believe it’s how she treats people.

My children are my life. Ganito yata talaga pag nanay ka.

There are times I still look for an adult, someone more good at adulting than I am.

I am a hot headed driver. I blame Manila traffic.

Go invest in practical things, like good sheets and pillows.

I no longer question when things don’t go my way, kasi hindi fair yun. When things go my way naman, I never question why.

Hello 30, please be good to me k?

Photographer: Louie Arcilla | Make up: Eliza Santiago| Contact lens: AirOptix in Grey| Shot at Baron 3 Gardens