The 7 Year Itch

Today mark’s my 7th year wedding anniversary.

I married young when I was 23 and for me, it was the right time in my life to get married.

You see there’s pressure for us women to marry. Typically the “right age” is somewhere between 25-28 years old. When you’ve managed to get a job after college and love the job you have, enough money to start a family and have become a total independent woman. When one passes the “right age” to marry, most parents would pressure their children because they are technically “getting old”. This means that their biological clock is ticking. Grabe lang ang pressure for us women no? Aminin nyo! I have friends who are now 30 years old and are nowhere near being engaged and they’re fine with it. In fact, in this day and age, there is no specific age as to when a woman should marry. As long as she is ready, that for me is the “right age” to settle down.

Back to me and my story.

Mr. JG proposed to me on my last year in college. I was a chill bride-to-be because I let my then fiancé take charge of the nitty gritty details of our wedding. Although I now somehow regret that I wasn’t as hands on as I wanted to be still, my wedding was a memorable one. Everyone was shocked that my parents gave their blessings because they were very strict. They only allowed my husband and I to go on a date by ourselves after a year of courting. O ha! Our love story isn’t unusual but you can say that a lot of effort and love were present. It may not be as intense but it was true. True love that after 4 years of dating, we got married and we started a family. Naks.

So as I start my 7th year being married to the man I promise to love and care for for the rest of my life, I wonder, is there really a 7 year itch?

The truth is, there is.

6th or 7th year into marriage and you’ll realize that you’ve become sooooo comfortable with your life together, you must do something to shake things up. The first few years are definitely the newlywed stage, where everything is blissful and even though there are mishaps and challenges, it’s still fun. You have every reason not to be skillful or knowledgable in a lot of things especially if it has something to do with the home. But when you’re nearing a decade of being married, you’ll realize that more than love, satisfaction should also be present.

Being married for 7 years is no walk in the park although I have to say, my husband and I rarely fight and have less issues than an average married couple. Still, things can be challenging. So allow me to share 7 things I’ve picked up from my own marriage.

A FOR EFFORT. Effort shouldn’t be removed from the equation. Do little things that make your spouse happy, it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Making breakfast or buying him something that reminded you of him are enough to make him feel that he is loved and you appreciate him. Dapat di talaga mawawala ang effort. Effort to make your spouse feel special even if there’s no occasion because really, who else will do it?

SPONTANEITY IS THE ANSWER. Like effort, being random and spontaneous will make things interesting in your married life. Got no plans for the weekend? How ’bout a quick trip out of town just because? Or why not do something together, such as learn something new? I remember Mr. JG & I learned how to shoot a handgun one random afternoon just because we wanted to be “cool” or at least spontaneous. Hihi.

COMMUNICATE. The big C everyone is talking about when it comes to relationships. It is also oftentimes misunderstood. Communicating doesnt’ really necessarily mean you need to talk. Sometimes, not talking is a way of communicating. Listening is a good way to communicate also. Just remember to never let a day pass by that you’re mad at your spouse.

DIVIDE AND CONQUER. One of the reasons why married couple tend to fight is because of the things they need to do. Be it chores, errands or even the little things such as picking up and cleaning after each other. The solution? Divide the things that you can do so as not to expect it from your spouse. Not only are you gonna prevent fighting each other, you’ll also lessen the chance of becoming a nagger.

NAG NOT. The key to not becoming a nagging wife or husband is to manage your expectations. How? By simply not forcing your spouse to do a task that he or she is not capable of completing. If you’ve ask more than a few times and he or she still hasn’t done it, then maybe it’s time that you stop asking and just do it yourself.

TAKE A BREAK. Daily life can really suck the life in us. With all the tasks we need to do and with the roles we need to play, sometimes all we need is a quick break from it all. Bawal ang ma-burn out and I know that most couples tend to get irritated with each other all because they’re too focused on what they need to do, as a partner, as a parent and everything else. The solution? Take care of yourself first. Always remember that before you became a spouse to someone, you are you. How can you take care of your family if you’re too stressed out? We all know that you cannot give what you don’t have so make sure you give yourself some time out. Do something fun that doesn’t stress you out and see how refreshing it can be to take a break once in a while.

HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE. This saying is so true. I believe the wife sets the tone and energy at home. If the wife is happy then expect that the energy at home is light and happy too. If the wife is stressed then expect that she’ll end up nagging and unhappy. So husbands take cue. It’s really easy to make your spouse happy – help her at home, by her favorite food or thing and take her on a date. Do something that can make her feel happy, today!

There’s such a thing as a seven year itch. I’m itching for more adventures, more moments to turn into memories and more love from my marriage. Itching to spend more years with the one and only man that lets me feel like I’m an independent woman and a princess at the same time! Naaaks. Hihihihi.

To Mr. JG, happy 7th anniversary! Thank you for being my rock and my strength. Thank you also for being the best dad to our kids! Love you to the moon and back. Now, where’s my anniversary gift? Heehee. 😀