Choosing Real Love

Today marks my 8th wedding anniversary. As usual we didn’t plan anything extraordinary because daily life does not permit us to be spontaneous on our day of union. Heehee. I honestly don’t mind because we do go on date nights regularly.

I can’t say much about married life because 8 years isn’t long enough to say words of wisdom nor advice but you can read about the 7 things I’ve picked up on my marriage which I wrote last year.

How very timely when an article from Huffington Post about real love popped up on my Facebook feed weeks ago. Author Seth Adam Smith wrote it very well and I couldn’t agree more. So allow me to share some of my favorite excerpts from the article.

Real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.

After all sweet gestures have been made, unraveling all the mysteries between each other and the romantic excitement has died down, a couple is stripped down to who they really are when they’re together, flaws and everything. So yes, real love is when you’ve decided to commit to an imperfect person, not your ideal person.

You definitely choose who to fall in love with and stay in love with.

The decision to choose that one person to fall in love with and stay in love with. From the very first time you meet someone, talk to someone or even look at someone, you experience that gut feeling or whatever you call it (maybe butterflies in your tummy?) that tells you how much connected you are with that person prompting you to continue communicating with that person which leads to falling in love. And when the relationship is tested over time, it’s a choice you make to stay in love.

Whenever we’re lost and confused we can find strength in the love that we have chosen.

 At the end of each and every day you anchor on the person you’ve chosen. When life gives you a curveball, you end up confiding to that one person whom you share your feelings with. You attach yourself to the person that you chose to be with–to find strength to at least try and catch that curveball.
We simply can’t abandon ship every time we encounter a storm in our marriage. Real love is about weathering the storms of life together.
I believe this is what sets marriage apart. You stick it through with the person you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with because the storm is what makes a relationship unique. It’s what makes two people who chose to be with each other stronger, even changed over the years. It’s weathering the storm that makes a relationship real. Unless there’s really an issue you cannot resolve e ibang usapan na yan (that’s a different story).
More often than not, real love has its sleeves rolled up, dirt and grime smeared on its arms, and sweat dripping down its forehead.
It’s not about the nice & sweet things anymore that knocks you off your feet (though sometimes it still works). It’s about seeing how your spouse is willing to roll up his sleeves (more often literally) to get the dirty work done because he loves you. You know the line “through thick or thin, in sickness and in health”? Pretty much what it is. Real love is not all pretty, it’s not all sweet. The reality that it presents can be as mundane as saying good morning every day or taking the trash out every night. Real love can be these simple acts done every day for the person you committed yourself with for the rest of your life. And when this is fulfilled for year, it can be a life well lived.
Thank you Seth for coming up with this post. It’s a great read for all those seeking love and those who have found love and want to keep it forever.
We barely have a photo of just us two anymore (unlike when we were dating–best in selfwe kami!). Here’s our most recent and best one yet as captured by our 6-year old daughter. Happy 8 on 8!
Happy chooseday guys!


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