If we all thought 2014 and the previous years were fast then we had it all wrong, 2015 went by in a blur.
2015 is ending in a matter of hours and as I recall, I haven’t written any year-end summary of thoughts, life events, ganaps, things to be thankful for and everything else that makes everyone bidding goodbye to the year all sentimental. While I privately (read: offline) contemplate on how my year went, I thought this time I’ll share some of the things 2015 has taught me.
2015…
…gave me time to focus on myself.
In this fast-paced world, we’re almost always on auto pilot. Everyday, we wake up, get ready for work or school, take care of the people we love, we tick off things on our to-do list. Eat, sleep, repeat.
Though I am one of the many who always say a day isn’t enough to accomplish the things I need to do, still the year has given me time to focus on myself. For some strange reason, despite being a headless chicken on almost all days of the year, it was a good year for myself.
Most of us forget to even check ourselves because we’re too focused on working, on providing, on taking care of others that we don’t really care about how we are. This year, I was able to get to know myself more. How? I guess I was more conscious of my actions and thoughts. I choose my battles, I stop myself before acting and reacting. And well, there are times when I caught myself doing the exact opposite – acting, reacting on impulse, losing control and having no patience – which lead me to know myself even more.
Honestly, who can say they really, really know themselves? I know up until this day, I still have a lot to learn about myself.
… got me started on my fitness journey.
By now I think you know how fitness has been a big part of my year. I became serious about it. My wanting to be strong was my sole motivation (okay, fine, sama na nating yung walang kamatayang wish na magka-abs!) to get started on my fitness journey. I no longer want to live and be the same ol’ me who complains about having shortness of breath whenever I climb a flight of stairs nor get allergy and asthma attacks often.
Sabi nga ng quotable quote “Nothing worth having comes easy.” Ang workout parang love lang (sabeeeeh?!) No pain, no gain! Ganyan! Okay fine, ‘wag na love, success na lang. Success here is defined as achieving something that you worked you a$s off ha, hindi yung success na namana lang ‘coz of your family name or ‘coz it was handed to you on a silver platter. Ganyang levelz. You have to work hard if you want to gain something or see improvement. And this is what it takes to be stronger that you were before, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional, there’s “work” involved. Di ba?
One of the things, you cannot cheat is your workout. One of the places you cannot cheat is at the gym. Well, technically pwede. Pero who are cheating on? Yourself! Less repetitions? Fine, pero sino ang lugi? E di ikaw. Umeffort ka pang mag punta sa gym, magbayad ng parking, at gumising para mag gym only to lessen the work load ‘coz aminin na natin, hindi madaling mag workout. MAHIRAP.
Gym selfies *ahem, guilty ako pero hindi selfie yon, may Instagram photographer ako aka trainer ko, hihi* can only motivate people who see your posts – which in my opinion is a good way to encourage people to start a healthier lifestyle. But what they don’t see – well, they can see it on my Snapchat: gojackiego (hihi) – is the hardwork, the lawit dila pagod, the challenging sets you have to complete in order to be better than your last session.
If you see me at the gym, I am harassed. No make up, no suklay! If I come out of the gym not looking harassed, then it means I haven’t given my 101% that day. Well, at least that’s me. Hopefully, 2016 will give me the same encouragement, time and energy to continue my fitness journey. Hindi pa din mashadong obvious yung abs ko guys, pero keri lang, as what one of my fitness inspirations @mamakatfitness said, “Abs is just the side effect of a strong and powerful core.” Yeeees, so workout pa more ng core, for more chances of having abs!
… helped me accept & love myself.
Turning 30 this year was a semi-big deal for me. I don’t have much life experiences – travel, work or out-of-my-comfort-zone-situations – as others but in my own little bubble, those 30 years have shaped me to be who I am now.
To celebrate my being a real adult (I cannot lie that I am still young anymore, huuhuhuh. Hindi na ko in my 20s!) I did a Dirty Thirty portrait session. My being shy & awkward have lead me to dislike compliments, attention and I still get the nerves whenever I’m in front of the camera. Despite being part of my job, I still haven’t gotten used to it. So you can say, I haven’t gotten out of my shell but that’s okay, I know I have a long way to go & I’ve got time to work on it.
It’s so human nature to want what you’re not or hope to be someone you’re not. But this year, I learned to let go, to accept and to be grateful. My flaws make who I am and the good news is, some of it can be worked out, while the others that can’t, well I learn to live with it. It’s not really the end of the world so I’ve come in peace with it. Keri na, okay na. I love me. Hihihi.
Thanks Louie for capturing my vulnerable self and for immortalising it! Haha. Pang throwback Thursday photos to when I become a senior citizen of the world. Heehee. I just hope I can age gracefully bilang I started my skin care routine late in my life. 
…has taught me that I am living my dream.
Just like Allyson (played by Sarah Drew) from the movie Mom’s Night Out. I am living my dream. But why oh why I am stressed most of the time?! When I was around 10 years old I had a dream and that includes having my own little family. 20 years later and I’m literally living that dream.
Yet motherhood and homemaking aren’t exactly a dream that’s easy and breezy. They’ve made me become a stressed out stay-at-home mom most of the time. I blame the gajillion things I need to do while my children showcase their love-hate-love relationship, all while making a mess. Of course I’m stressed. Who wouldn’t? Well, moms who don’t strive for perfection, cleanliness, nor order are the moms who aren’t stressed out. Noted.
Since realizing this, I’ve vowed to try really, really hard (operative word: try) to just be in the present and be grateful that I get to live my dream. Because really, how lucky am I?
To alleviate stressful moments, I make sure I get some “me time”. Imagine being with young kids 24/7 and not being able to do things you used to do – read in silence, bum around, watch TV, take long showers, play video games, sleep all day – is enough to make one go crazy! So mommas, let’s all do ourselves a favor and take some time out. Do something for yourself once in a while.
Just like Allyson, a mom’s night out or a few minutes away from home and the kids help me be a better version of myself. I know I say this again and again but having a time out will not only let you take care of yourself but it can also help you be a better parent to your kids. And please don’t feel guilty that you’re spending a few hours or even minutes away from your little ones. You need it and you deserve it!
2015 has been a good year of personal growth for me and it has been a challenging year for me as a mom – my lil’ Mr. JG has a lot up his sleeves and has tested my patience with his antics – and this I am thankful for. It’s not really an easy journey but what is life if everything is easy right?
For 2016, my only wish is to have good health for me and my family. I know this is such a cliché but there’s really nothing else I could wish for. This plus guidance and protection from Him that we may continue to be better people for ourselves and for our loved ones. All the other excess wishes and wants don’t really matter if there is sickness, chaos and unhappiness in my life.
Thank you 2015 for the good, the bad and the ugly moments in my life. I will look back with no regrets, only fond memories and learnings. So as we welcome the new year, allow me to share the quote I found on The Giving Journal by Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf which pretty much resonates to what I want to focus in the coming year.
I choose to grow each day
To be purposeful at work and play
And throughout life’s highs and lows
I choose a life that overflows
I choose to take steps forward
To make sure each day is fully explored
And whether I meet with joys and sorrows
I choose a life that overflows
I know that no diligence is wasted
That little by little goes far when added
I know that goodness echoes
So I choose a life that overflows
Someday I’ll look back
At my well-travelled track
I’ll beam because my heart knows
I chose a life that overflows
photgraphy by Louie Arcilla make up by Eliza Santiago shot on location at Baron Gardens 3 special thanks to Cesar Wee!
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