Today marks one week of my being maidless/yayaless. As I metioned on my Mother’s Day post, this is the first time I have to take care of both my kids without any help. I’m used to taking care of Gabbie but managing a toddler and a baby simultaneously, IT IS NOT EASY! Imagine two spirited kids versus one mom, extra challenge ito!
I emphasized on being a full time hands on mom because I literally am one. The moment lil’ Mr. GJG wakes up early in the morning (at times he also wakes up in the middle of the night to feed) does my day starts. Feeding, giving baths, playtime, bathroom breaks, more feeding, playtime, more bathroom breaks, cleaning up and more playtime. That’s basically how it works. I am not exaggerating and for those who are pregnant I’m not scaring you ha. This is my reality. Having no help is doable, it’s not the end of the world. I know naman I can do it, I just need to get used to it lang. But like my advice to all the moms out there- never be afraid to ask help. As of writing I’m on the look out for a yaya hoping I find a good one. Thankfully, this journey gave me the opportunity to learn a few things about myself, my kids and motherhood.
BEGIN THE DAY WITH A GRATEFUL HEART
One of my many mantras in life. If I start the day with a grateful heart (with matching cup of coffee) I end up having a nice day. Despite the chores and workload I have to finish, it’s nice to just stay a few more minutes in bed with my kids and just cuddle and play. It’s our way of being grateful that we get to do just that.
I know this isn’t easy. I have my fair share of grumpy moments everyday but I notice whenever I act like I’m happy and choose to be happy, I end up being happy. This I am mastering thanks to my happiness project. Lil’ Ms. GJG approves of this. She listens to me whenever I speak in a mellow, happy tone lessening the chances of tantrums. A happy mommy makes a happy baby.
TAKE IT ONE AT A TIME
Having two kids and just one you is a challenge. Two kids with different needs tend to need you almost the entire day. What to do? Do things one at a time. I think multitasking when it comes to attending to your kids’ needs isn’t ideal. Lil’ Ms. GJG doesn’t like it when I do something while I take care of her. She would ask me to sit properly, look at her and just do things together without any interruption. No shame that I have learned to focus on the things that matter from her.
You cannot make “work” as an excuse to your kids. I notice whenever I have things to do I always tell lil’ Ms. GJG “Hurry up hun because mommy has a lot of things to do.” That should’t be the case. It shouldn’t be that way. Children aren’t suppose to adjust to your work, it should be the other way around especially if you’re a SAHM. You commit yourself to being there for them not just physically, but to really spend quality time with them. That I have realized, I shouldn’t use work as my excuse to hurry them up to go to sleep or to not play with them. This I am working on right now which is why I find myself sleeping on a average of 3-4 hours a night. I do things I want to do when the day is finished and the kids are asleep, that’s when I blog and read in the middle of the night.
Having no help means less prioritizing on cleaning and more focusing on the kids. Let go of the things you know you have no control of and cannot do anything about. A dirty house wouldn’t matter as long as you have healthy, happy kids no. I’d rather have that naman but the OC side of me still couldn’t help it. I get very anxious when the house is untidy because I know eventually I would have to clean it up myself. So when the kids take their nap, I clean or cook or wash the dishes. The adrenaline in my body surges as soon as I get a window of opportunity to do so. But if you cannot do all things at the same time (in which we can’t in most cases), I say let go.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
I have to say one of the benefits of not having any help is that you do things your way. Aminin moms, you sometimes couldn’t help it if ate or manang does things differently than you. You get stressed and would sneak into re-doing it just to satisfy your OC-ness. Without help, you have no choice but to do things. Plus, its an instant workout ha. The inconvenience of not having a yaya makes up for the fact that you can use her supposed salary to treat yourself. Yay!
REMEMBER THE MOMENTS
While there are times that I really feel like crap and would immediately whine about wanting to get help ASAP, there is this one lingering thought that never fails to make me realize how blessed I am. That I have two lovely kids who constantly need me in their lives. Knowing that my lil’ Ms. GJG wants to play with me is something I like. Also, despite how challenging it is, I also like that lil’ Mr. GJG is as clingy as a cling wrap (heehee what a comparison) every time he hears my voice, sees me walk inside the room or even smells me! I must remember that these moments wouldn’t last forever and instead of complaining on how tired I am or how I lack sleep, I must learn to appreciate these moments. A few years from now they’ll be pre-occupied with school and with their friends, they’d rather hang out with them than with me. Oh my gulay, I’m becoming an emo-mom! You cannot bring back or relive moments so while you’re in that moment, I say enjoy it while you can. This is what keeps me going every single day. A journey that’s challenging yet fulfilling, tiring but worth it.
Which brings me all sentimental. It’s a #throwbacktuesday today.
My mom carrying me when I was only a few months old.
Sometimes I feel like I am becoming my mother. My mom was once a businesswoman but she chose to take care of me and my two sisters. She was very hands on and if she can, she would personalize all things related to us her kids. There were moments I remember she would really take time and put a lot of effort just so she could finish a chore or help us in our projects. The sacrifices my mom has made for us are immeasurable and for that I am very grateful. She has taught me a lot of things that mostly involve those that can help in raising a family and being a homemaker. I remember she would bring us in the market and would show us tips and tricks on how to buy fresh produce and would even force us to watch and help her cook, iron our clothes or wash the dishes. Back then I felt like I was being punished for doing those chores, only to find out that I would greatly benefit from it all. The best pamana ni nanay is not the material things but life lessons that I have learned through the years and have applied them now to take care of my own family.
Glad I listened to my mom on all the things she taught me and my sisters. I hope I can impart some of her teachings to my daughter someday. This would be the best “pamana ni nanay” that I can give her. After all, life lessons are far more valuable than material things.
Watch this video as five people surprised their moms to show them how grateful they are for all the sacrifices and love they’ve given. What a special treat for the five moms this Mother’s Day which was presented by Ceelin.
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*This post was made possible by Ceelin- My kids' vitamins*
You’re doing a good job Jackie! 🙂
I think naman we can all manage without help – yun lang, we’d need to change our perspective and rethink our priorities. Ako, I have to admit, I am spoiled by having yayas, yet I was able to manage handling Kailee on my own for a week. After that week I realized – Kaya pala! 🙂 So I am not so scared anymore if in case I experience Yaya Drama..
I have to learn though to be more patient with Kailee and her terrible two stage. I need to understand that what works for me as an adult will not work for her since she’s just a toddler.
Motherhood talaga is a learning journey. I am so thankful to mommy bloggers like you because reading your stories make me feel ‘normal’, in a sense that I have karamays in this world. That I am not the only one going through something – I have you guys to relate to.
Hope to bump into you soon Jackie! Hugs to the little guys.. And here’s a pat in the back, good job Mommy! 🙂
Awww thank you Didi! Ya nga, it helps to share experiences lalo na for first time moms whoa re clueless so that they’ll feel that they’re not alone. Thank you! 🙂 O nga let’s meet na soon! 😉
great post Jackie!! and i have to agree about work. I need to disconnect and concentrate on the kids. short concentrated quality time is better than long multitasking [quantity] time with them.
Thank you Jenny! It’s really challenge but doable naman yun lang we need lots of practice and patience to help us! heehee
Lia de las Llagas says
Hello Ms. Jackie! Anything you post especially in IG with Baby J or Achi G I super love 🙂 You have such adorable kids and I can’t imagine how you were able to juggle all since I was a SAHM just months ago, I only have 1 daughter, 25 months now but really, sometimes my patience really runs dry to the point na naiiyak na ako 😛 I like this post kasi it reminds me of what is important in life which is one’s family. I especially like the line “Children aren’t suppose to adjust to your work, it should be the other way around” 🙂 Although I can honestly say I give all my non-working hours to my baby since I do not have yaya too which I think is a blessing in itself. More power to your family and your blog! Happy Bloganniversary! 🙂 ([email protected])
Hi Lia! Truly patience is a virtue which I try to practice everyday. Challenging nga but doable naman. The solution lang, I lose sleep coz I do the things I want to do when they’re all sleeping na. Ikaw na! Waley ka din yayey? *slow clap to you* 😀
arra carrasco-odeza says
LOVE THIS POST ms. jackie 🙂 im also a full time mom so i can relate to your post. Im enjoying my time as a full time mom and thanks to this post which inspires me to exert more effort to be better. “The best pamana ni nanay is not the material things but life lessons that I have learned through the years and have applied them now to take care of my own family.” i super agree with this cause that’s the exact word I can say about the things I learn from my mom who’s also a hard working full time mother
Happy Bloganniversay and more power!
Natalie C. Miranda says
Hi Ms. Jackie, I like this blog entry of yours, its so normal and feels like well, familiar. I am a young mom, staying at home, working at home, and hands on mom. It feels human, positivity and nega side. I never really lived a “single” life as I married young, some times I feel regret, but when I first read this post before , I felt positive, I am already a mom now, I am now in charge of another human being and well the quote is soo powerful to me. PURE LOVE. ….that’s what I always get from my daughter.
Eve Vinluan-Magat says
I can somehow relate to this post. By boy sometimes puts me on my boundary and that’s means no “me” time for me. On the brighter side, i got hugs, kisses, laughs and tickles. Hey, It’s really not bad at all! Happy Bloganniversary!
Ellaine Ruth Reyes-Uy Wan says
Those once in a lifetime moments (which for me is every moment with her) can never be brought back ever again so I and my husband enjoy it fully. I would not trade being with her everyday for a high-paying job because what I get from it is priceless.
Anna Lukban - Mogueis says
For the lunch date giveaway.
I love this post. It’s very important to start the day with a grateful heart. I believe that the way to start the day is by starting it with reading God’s Word. I’m currently a WAHM. I stopped working outside as a preschool teacher because I wanted to do the best job there is. I wanted to be there 24/7 to my now almost 3 year old toddler. I love my job. I may not be the best mom there is, but I’m surely trying to be the best for her. I’m taking it one day at a time. And I’m enjoying every bit of moment with her.
Indeed it is. Thank you Therese! 🙂
Ever since the day began?! OMG ang galing mo. You deserve a slow clap Lovely! 🙂