When I was a child spanking back then was the most common thing parents do to discipline their kids. I remember when I was a kid that I had my fare share of punishments because well I was very active and I was carefree and most of the time didn’t listen to my parents. Punishments such as kneeling on mung beans, spanking the behind using a belt, being locked up in the bathroom with the lights closed were just some of the punishments my sister and I experienced when we were kids. It was traumatizing but to be honest it was kind of effective.
Now in this modern day and age, I’d like to believe that spanking and physical punishment is no longer necessary when raising a child. So my question is, have you ever spanked you child? As for me, sadly yes. You see I get short tempered easily whenever I’m sick and whenever I lack sleep or hungry (these make me very grumpy). I know I said over and over again to my husband that I will not use physical punishment for our kids and we both agreed on it but on trying times, we see ourselves spanking Gabbie’s hands whenever she did something wrong that would’ve put her in danger.
Before you give me the evil eye, ask yourself the same question. What triggers you from shouting and spanking your kids? When they’re being a kid? Which means making a mess, playing where it is not allowed, touching things that can harm them, consciously mocking you and not following you just because.
Yes, all of the above for me. You see, Gabbie is a smart kid (like most kids) they understand situations and simple ideas that they’re exposed to over time. So when she tends to disobey me or does the opposite of what I tell her to do, that’s when I start to boil. The only reason is we both know that she’s just mocking me or just because she wants to and she knows that she can. Of course she knows what I want her to do yet she does the opposite of it. Forcing me to change my mood and temper, my voice more commanding and my action to lead me to pa-pa (spank) her palm.
As for spoiling, first borns are always the ones who experience it and spoilers are mostly (first-time) grandparents. Between me and my husband, I think he’s the spoiler and I’m more of the disciplinarian. Maybe that is the case because I am left alone with her at home. I think spoiling is necessary to teach kids that there’s another side to discipline. I was never a spoiled girl as I am the youngest of three girls while my husband is the firstborn whom I believe was spoiled heehee. So I guess it helps that we’re quite a contrast when it comes to kind of parenting. Now that Gabbie’s a little older, I find myself enjoying spoiling her. Well not naman spoiling, more on enjoying buying her things that I know she’ll love and will enjoy at the moment. I figured when she turns 3, 4 or 5 years old she’ll be into other things and wouldn’t want to be treated as a “baby” anymore. As for my baby boy, well I can’t wait to spoil him as well, heehee. For now, I only can afford spoiling Gabbie with food such as ice cream, chocolates, donuts and play time at Gymboree. I leave the expensive spoiling to her Ahma (grandma).
Being a progressive parent means being open and having a good communication between you and your kids. As I’ve mentioned on my previous posts about progressive parenting here, here and here, it all starts with the attitude and energy the parents exude in order to to make the home a happy place.
For tips on disciplining and rewarding your kids check out my full article at New Beginnings website.
I hope the tips help in balancing discipline and reward in your family.
What’s your take on spanking and spoiling?
Guilty of being a spoiler. My family really spoils my child. He is the first grandson and since we never had a brother, super spoiled siya sa little sister ko. Though spoiled din siya sa amin ng daddy niya, may limits din naman but iba pala talaga ang unang apo.
I don’t spoil and I have spanked–especially that time my son ran toward the street! And yes, like you, I was spanked too. However, now though, I am trying different discipline methods that don’t involve spanking.
i also remember when i was a kid, my dad also uses belts or hanger for punishment. I thought he was way too strict then but now, looking at it, it was really his way of discipline after all. My boyfriend is against spanking he said so if ever we’ll have children of our own in the future, he doesn’t want to use those sort of punishments but I think little punishments like those will really make children disciplined. Especially in our times now!
About spoiling, I don’t wanna spoil children that much! As a teacher, I have experienced being asked why I spoil my advisory class but it’s just way too different since my advisory class is like my children anyway. I am always with them everyday and I need to do a background check in each of the child to get to know them more.
Well, this issue really depends on how’s and who’s.
Hi Jackie! My husband and I really discussed this topic, especially since we’re in the Terrific Twos phase and J has started being naughty on numerous occasions. We do spank, but we make sure never to do it when we’re angry, so J understands that we did not spank him because we got angry, but because he was punished for doing something bad. Usually we spank him when we see that he’s deliberately breaking rules. We’re lucky din naman kasi when we spank him, he doesn’t get angry din and run away, he cries and clings to us, so when he’s done crying, we can sit down with him and explain why he was punished.
Hi Dianne! Oh, I haven’t thought of that ha and I find myself a bit mad nga whenever I spank lil’ Ms. GJG’s hand or foot. Sige I shall apply this to her so that she can understand the reason behind it. Thank you for sharing!
Yay!
awss I’m such a softy mommy. It breaks my heart to even think of spanking my kid =)
“Happy Bloganniversay” go jackie go!
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