When babies become toddlers, parents get surprised even more not only because of the milestones and achievements their two year old can do but also how she reacts, how she’s molded into something that’s uniquely her yet at the same time familiar (read: traits she takes after her parents). If you’ve been reading this blog for quite some time now, you’d know how much hyper my two year old daughter Gabbie is. She according to my husband’s parents and mine would all agree that we were once like her, very malikot (fidgety & naughty) which I think is mostly associated with being curious.
You see as I’ve oftentimes mentioned, my husband and I don’t follow the traditional style of parenting. We would call our parenting technique as “relaxed parenting” wherein we don’t let pressure from other parents nor society dictate how we should raise our kid. I can also consider ourselves sometimes semi-bad parents because we let our two year old watch her favorite TV shows more than two hours a day in total (okay don’t judge me!), let her eat sweets, let her stay up late because she sleeps 2-3 hours in the afternoon and all the other “bad things” the parenting police would refer to, so sue us! Read up on Vince Sales’ article Take that, Parenting Police. It has never really bothered me nor my husband because according to our pedia, every parent and child relationship are different. What may work for you may not work for others and vice versa.
Everything was happening naturally, we’re beginning to experience the so called “terrible two” stage. Wherein tantrums and dramas are inevitable and no matter how much explanation we do, it all boils down to what the toddler wants and how bad she wants it.
That didn’t bother me at all because it’s a natural process for toddlers to express how they feel and that screaming and making tantrums could just about be the easiest thing they can do to grab our attention. What caught my attention is that Gabbie suddenly learned to use possessive pronouns. Mine particularly being her favorite. As she grows older, she has become more aware of herself and of her capabilities. I don’t know where she got it from but my husband and I were surprised when few days ago I was using the iPad when she suddenly grabbed it from me saying “Mommy, mine!” and immediately she handed me my phone saying “Mommy, yours!” I was motionless for a few good seconds. Amazed at how she learned to use these words and at the same time surprised at how she used it to get what she wanted.
Gabbie wearing my glasses. She didn’t want to remove it until after I took photos of her.
They say using possessive pronouns/words is part of every toddler’s process of learning how to share. With the obsession and the owning of something, in the end when the parents mediate and explain, the toddler slowly gets to understand that each person owns something and that sharing them to someone isn’t a bad thing.
Gabbie has developed an attitude wherein she’s independent enough to think of herself first whenever she wants something. Sharing is still part of her but she’d prioritize fending for herself first. While half of me thinks this is her being selfish, the other half of me thinks she’ll survive in this world. Either way, we’re both learning from this phase of “mines” and “yours”.
Mine & yours: Nebulize time since both of us caught the flu bug. 🙁
photos are processed through Instagram.
Sharing with you the famous creed that I’ve come to understand, thanks to my daughter Gabbie.
Toddler’s Creed:
If I want it, it’s mine.
If I give it to you and change my mind later, it’s mine.
If I can take it away from you, it’s mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
If it’s mine, it will never belong to anybody else, no matter what.
If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine.
If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
Check out these links for a better understanding of the possessive behavior of toddlers.
The “Mine” Field of Toddler Behavior
Toddler is Possessive and Doesn’t Share Toys
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i agree 100%. sometimes you just have to let the child be. at 2, sharing is still a vague concept for them. tiyagaan lang, as they say. 🙂
wait until you get to the WHY phase. hahaha! 🙂
Oh my, praying I have enough patience when the WHY phase comes! 🙂