When I was a child spanking back then was the most common thing parents do to discipline their kids. I remember when I was a kid that I had my fare share of punishments because well I was very active and I was carefree and most of the time didn’t listen to my parents. Punishments such as kneeling on mung beans, spanking the behind using a belt, being locked up in the bathroom with the lights closed were just some of the punishments my sister and I experienced when we were kids. It was traumatizing but to be honest it was kind of effective.
Now in this modern day and age, I’d like to believe that spanking and physical punishment is no longer necessary when raising a child. So my question is, have you ever spanked you child? As for me, sadly yes. You see I get short tempered easily whenever I’m sick and whenever I lack sleep or hungry (these make me very grumpy). I know I said over and over again to my husband that I will not use physical punishment for our kids and we both agreed on it but on trying times, we see ourselves spanking Gabbie’s hands whenever she did something wrong that would’ve put her in danger.
Before you give me the evil eye, ask yourself the same question. What triggers you from shouting and spanking your kids? When they’re being a kid? Which means making a mess, playing where it is not allowed, touching things that can harm them, consciously mocking you and not following you just because.
Yes, all of the above for me. You see, Gabbie is a smart kid (like most kids) they understand situations and simple ideas that they’re exposed to over time. So when she tends to disobey me or does the opposite of what I tell her to do, that’s when I start to boil. The only reason is we both know that she’s just mocking me or just because she wants to and she knows that she can. Of course she knows what I want her to do yet she does the opposite of it. Forcing me to change my mood and temper, my voice more commanding and my action to lead me to pa-pa (spank) her palm.
As for spoiling, first borns are always the ones who experience it and spoilers are mostly (first-time) grandparents. Between me and my husband, I think he’s the spoiler and I’m more of the disciplinarian. Maybe that is the case because I am left alone with her at home. I think spoiling is necessary to teach kids that there’s another side to discipline. I was never a spoiled girl as I am the youngest of three girls while my husband is the firstborn whom I believe was spoiled heehee. So I guess it helps that we’re quite a contrast when it comes to kind of parenting. Now that Gabbie’s a little older, I find myself enjoying spoiling her. Well not naman spoiling, more on enjoying buying her things that I know she’ll love and will enjoy at the moment. I figured when she turns 3, 4 or 5 years old she’ll be into other things and wouldn’t want to be treated as a “baby” anymore. As for my baby boy, well I can’t wait to spoil him as well, heehee. For now, I only can afford spoiling Gabbie with food such as ice cream, chocolates, donuts and play time at Gymboree. I leave the expensive spoiling to her Ahma (grandma).
Being a progressive parent means being open and having a good communication between you and your kids. As I’ve mentioned on my previous posts about progressive parenting here, here and here, it all starts with the attitude and energy the parents exude in order to to make the home a happy place.
For tips on disciplining and rewarding your kids check out my full article at New Beginnings website.
I hope the tips help in balancing discipline and reward in your family.
What’s your take on spanking and spoiling?