I slept a bit late last night so the early morning texts and calls from my fellow SoMoms were mere whispers in my very blurred dream. I woke up a bit sweaty and uneasy as I answer a call from an unregistered number, and it was Eliza on the line. “Hey, Patty’s gone”.
I couldn’t muster any words nor put more effort to come up with a decent reply as I heard Eli sob. I just froze and felt cold. My palms were sweaty and my hands shaking. As soon as Eliza informed me, I checked my texts and online threads on updates. Neal, Patty’s husband sent a text message at around 3 AM that she was in Cardinal Santos’ ICU. Out of all the days I was up around this time, why was last night an exemption? I could’ve rushed to the hospital even though I know I won’t be able to see her as ICU is only for family. I could, however be there for Neal and the girls, Patty’s daughters.
For those of you who don’t know, Patty is my fellow SoMom and is the blogger behind Nonstop Babble. I’ve meet her only in 2012 but it feels like I’ve known her forever. Search my blog for PATTY BALQUIEDRA and you’ll see events we’ve been together. We’ve also had other extra curricular activities outside blogging and have been close ever since we’ve met. I can say she’s the Tita I’ve never had. Cool, strict and yet easy to talk to. Naku, I’m sure she’ll give me her taray look (roll her eyes on me) when she hears me call her Tita. Helloooooo Tita Patty!
My day wasn’t going the way I planned & hoped my #chooseday to be. Because today, we lost a beautiful person. I still can’t believe she’s gone and it’s been months since I last saw her. The last time the SoMoms planned to meet her, I wasn’t able to go because I had the sniffles and I didn’t want Patty to catch my virus. Part of me wanted to see her so badly, even from a distance I would’ve come to get a glimpse of her but I know this is so selfish of me. This is the first time I am deeply affected losing someone so close to me. I’ve never felt so broken and dysfunctional. I just want to crawl in bed, eat lots of junk food and cry myself to sleep.
But I don’t want to mourn as I know this is not what Patty wants. I can hear her say “Hoy, umayos ka! Sayang ang araw, it’s a beautiful day!” I curve my lips as I try to hide a faint smile as I think about Patty’s voice. I am sad. I truly am. But I know she expects more from me, she expects me to unleash my perky side in times like this. So allow me to celebrate and look back at the moments we’ve been together.
We love getting together over good food & catching up with each other.
During the Physiogel event where Patty shared her story as a breast cancer survivor. There were times Patty would even tell me “Sus, taena breast cancer lang yan, matibay to!” Pointing to herself. How many women can even muster these words? I know Patty did.
During the Glorietta Amazing Race. It was down to two groups, this photo was taken minutes before announcing the grand winner.
OMG. OMG. OMG. Patty & Marc won!
Lovely Sofitel brunch at Spiral where we got to create our own floral arrangement.
More bonding over food with our kids.
Travelled down south to participate in Chic Driven’s fashion show with our daughters.
This year’s Mother’s Day celebration.
The kilay gang. Eliza, Patty & I are huge fans of perfectly shaped & well-groomed brows. We can talk about it all day!
I will always remember you when I hear Bruno Mar’s Treasure and Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off. I will always think of you every time I see a yellow bird, every time I do my eyebrows, every time I see a girl wearing super skimpy shorts (aka p*k p*k shorts), and every time I watch a La Salle UAAP game. For me, you are the epitome of a cool, hip but definitely not tander Tita of Manila. Heehee. Beyond this, you are a proof that faith and love can let one live a purposeful life. That it doesn’t matter how long one lives but how one has touched other people. Thank you for showing us what it is to have true strength and courage. Thank you for inspiring and for teaching me to give my best in everything that I do. I will keep in mind your mahaderang voice every time I get lazy & do things mediocrely. Tita Patty naman eeeeee. 😉
Donchawori, lil’ Ms. GJG & Ate Sabine will still do playdates. I will keep in touch with Neal, BG & LG. We’ll be here for your family so don’t worry about them, about us okay? I will remind lil’ Ms. GJG & lil’ Mr. GJG of how much you love them & how you would literally take them off my arms to take care of them during the times we were in meetings, events and other social gatherings where I had no extra hands to help me.
Look at Patty, lovingly holding lil’ Ms. GJG. 🙂
This is one of inspirational messages Patty posted on her social media accounts. This rings true to me now.
Life is made up of moments. Moments well spent are the memories we make, we remember and we leave behind. Thank you so much Patty for sharing your story, for letting the Go family be a part of your life and for all the love and care you’ve given me and my family. Today, you have left us and have joined our Creator. I’m sure you’re up there, happily reunited with your dad. We will never forget you. We will always remember you Patty. We love you!
I’m sure matatawa ka once you see this post. Throwback Thursday and Flashback Friday photos! But still, you’re welcome!
As usual, I love your kilay! 😉
Jen CC tan says
naiyak ako Jackie.
Jackie Go says
I can’t stop crying Jen! 🙁 I’m in denial. I feel like she’s just hibernating, off somewhere so she can rest.
Love Jackie! We’re all in denial.
Jackie Go says
I knooooow 🙁 Patty naman kasi, nag-surprise pa!
conci navarro says
Kanina pa ko bursting into tears here sa office
Jackie Go says
Conci, maga na yun mata ko ang masakit na ulo ko kakaiyak. Huhuhuhuhubells. Pero at times I smile and then cry, then smile again. Baliw lang ang peg!
I don’t know how to deal.
My condolences to Patty’s family and friends. I nver got the chance to know her personally but we did exchange some emails and SMS messages. Even through online exchanges I could feel her love and zest for life. The world has lost a wondeful woman. Hugs Jackie. Will whisper a prayer for her, her family and friends. May God give you comfort in your time of grief.
Jackie Go says
Thank you Nyree.
It doesn’t feel real – especially when I see those pictures. I’ll always remember that smile! sigh.
I also want to write but I don’t even know where to start… 🙁
This is a very beautiful tribute to Patty, Jackie. Very touching and heartfelt. RIP, Patty.
What a sad day. She’s one of my favorite bloggers. Dear Patty, you touched our lives. Sleep well and good night for now. You will be missed. 🙁
Love your post Jackie!
I can’t seem to put into words what I want to say.
Hindi ako maka-type.
Since learning of the news – ngayon ko lang nalabas yung luha ko…
Rose fres fausto says
Even my Anton is saddened by this. He’s a friend of Patty’s daughter Anissa. We included her in our prayers.
Jackie Go says
Hi Rose. Thank you for including Patty in your prayers.
I emailed you sometime ago to ask about Patty and her blog. I had a feeling then that things were not well. I do not know her as well as you do, in fact I am just an avid viewer of her blog. I feel bad that I did not save each and every post she wrote because it would be like keeping her memories in a tightly lidded bottle. Thanks Patty, for keeping the faith and making us keep the faith too when things turn bad. I hope something can still be done to recover all her blog posts. I feel so sad.
Jackie Go says
Yes, I remember. I too feel sad that we weren’t able to at least screen cap her blog posts. But you can check her other blog that is still up http://graceandanatomy.blogspot.com may it serve as a reminder of how she is: full of faith and hope.